 |
| All these sunflowers, you still haven't come to shine on me ت |
***
***
*on the phone with MamaLove the night before going back to Singapore*,
"ma, macam mane ni? chocolates yang mama kirim semuanya takde. nak ganti dgn apa?"
"tkpe, da selalu sangat beli kan. kali ni tak payah"
"tapi, ma. takkan tak nak pape? pelik la luggage kosong"
"okay, dik. mama nak kirim menantu boleh?"
*shocked but dengan penuh keyakinan*,
"hmm yang tu tunggu kat musabaqah jela. ade tu nanti kat sana insyaallah"
*mulut mak VS selambanya anak, agak2 sape yang menang? both kalah kot. anak ni takde kawan lelaki. adehhhhh*
***
"Sorry zulfaqar. this time kak ika tk beli byk bende. duit tak cukup"
"nevermind la. that's not important"
*diam kejap, look at me*,
"you know what? you at home is already a present. its the real happiness"
*kak ika confused tu pick up line ke jujur, but why my eyes mcm masuk habuk eh :') *
***
"kak ika, after secondary school, go where ah?"
"Diploma"
"Then?"
"University"
"Then?"
"wait, uni have many levels. degree, master then phd"
"waaahh got lots of study ah *sambil urut kepala*"
*I know what you were thinking, dik*
***
*on a secret conversation with maya when zulfaqar came in so we switch language*
"ehh tell me ah. don't talk different language ah"
*we resumed our conversation as it was about his birthday present*
"ishhhh I hate my sisters *walked away*"
***
*on Musabaqah tahfiz, back to seat beside little sister after my turn*
"kak ika, tadi malu seyh, zulfaqar gi cheer after you turun stage. semua org tgk semcm. yela, ni musabaqah tahfiz, dia gi cheer mcm gitu"
*tutup muka memikirkan nasib*,
"tkpela, dia tk fhm. dia kan secular. tkpe, nanti I ckp dgn dia".
*announcement of the top 5 winner and my name was on the list*
*Pergi dpn, take the envelope and patah balik*
*little sister senyum lebar and muka bersinar-sinar mcm dia yang menang*,
"See, I told you. you mesti menang punya. go,go write down, 'the only princess in this category' "
*proud little siblings I get here :') *
***
"so, how's your result? ke laut as expected tak?"
"hmm, atas awan"
"mksdnya? positive or negative tu?"
"antara dua darjat"
"please eh jgn berkias sangat. byk sgt tgk drama, gini la jadinya. cuba lebihkan murajaah instead"
*sekali lagi. اهدنا الصراط المستقيم*
***
"I can't wait to buy that book"
"eh, belum beli?"
"nope. I always get my salary and yeahh wanted to buy that book but then I bought 10chocolate frappe instead"
*i know i taught them wrongly. But food is more important right? #SgtPerempuan *
***
"Ma, i'm going to SURM tomorrow"
*adik suddenly menyampuk*,
"I've always become overprotective when you want to go there"
"eh, why?"
"Because you love your students so much but I'm your sister"
"oh so you jealous la?"
"nooo. you are my sister what"
*but your jealousy is too obvious, dik*
***
*Talked to my previous students in front of the class and one of them become teary*
"awak, okay?"
*angguk*
*repeated it*,
"betul, okay?"
*angguk*
*after that short session, she ran into me and*,
"ustazah, *start confessing what she has done and..* kenapa ustazah tinggalkan saya? bila ustazah nak ajar sini lagi?"
*speechless. again, she taught me something indirectly :') *
***
"eh, sape punya pancakes?"
"mine. but kak ika da kenyang. zulfaqar nak tolong habiskan?"
"eleh, kenyang ke mengalah?"
*oh you are so grown up and this method don't work on you anymore :') *
***
***
" I think the reason i'm being clingy and cranky these days because i'm afraid of losing the ones I love. I still remember when my 1st Quran teacher (who taught me alif ba ta) fell sick; warded in ICU during my exam period last year and I cant do anything. After that there were more of them leaving me- Quran teachers, murobbi, family members. i'm afraid. I want to stay Brunei but I want to be in Singapore too. BUT I know, I cant have all of them at a time, right? :') " -Thoughts .
we were (or perhaps just me) too busy
findings ways to survive in this hectic world,
attach ourselves with something that is not permanent
until we forget
His words are forever ready to give a cuddle
His love is greater than the universe could offer.
why?
|| back to Brunei, back to reality. away from home, I miss my family. Please go away, negativity :') ||
💕9 Rejab 1439H💕
P/s: Apa beza bunga matahari dalam gambar dengan bunga matahari yang suka menulis ni?
;Bunga matahari perlukan sinaran mentari,
Tapi dia perlukan awak yang dekat dengan Ilahi dan mencintai Kalam suci ت
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